The Q&A literally... One person asked for.
So, I’ve had an interesting email by a gentleman. That I thought could turn into a Q&A blog post. Also, if you have any questions send them in! You will either get a serious response, ignored, or a philosophic quote (which means I think you’re a twat) to ponder over.
Tell me your thought process in deciding to become an escort? How did it become an idea? Did you know someone in the industry? Did you discuss it with anyone?
I didn’t actually have a “I’ve decided to become an escort” moment, and I still hesitate to call myself an escort with only three bookings under my belt (thanks covid). I feel like a moonlighter still. Honestly, it kind of just happened. A lot of variables came into play of course but I kind of just went with the flow when my first opportunity came up and said, why the hell not? So, I wouldn’t be at this point if I did not know people in the industry, and had I not booked a male escort myself. Having people around you to normalize it, really helped. Then having a session myself made me realize how not scary it is, it was in fact a lot of fun, and they helped me a lot mentally. So, I saw that a lot of good could come from a booking. I haven’t really been exposed to any severe negatives. I know there can be, and potentially could be. But if that comes one day, I will deal with it like I have the rest of the negatives in my life. The only person I truly discussed it with in detail was my psychologist, and he saw no real reasons why I shouldn’t try it. I’m out about it already to most people in my life, I’m blessed to be surrounded by fantastic people in my life right now.
What is the driver for starting? What percentage is economic and what percentage is you wanting to experience the industry. Is there any element of you wanting to fulfil sexual fantasies?
Hearing stories from the people I know in the industry made me really interested in it from an intellectual aspect, as I had studied a bit of sociology, I found I was genuinely fascinated by the perception of deviance, the power structures and dynamics, the stigma, the emotional labour, and well just about everything to do with it. Mainly because I really don’t care about people paying for sex and companionship, and some people really, really do. I find it absolutely interesting as to why they do or why anyone finds it deviant, when literally every person on this planet is alive because of sex. I read a few books written by sex workers, and I’ve never been so interested in reading academic/non fiction works before. Ultimately it showed me I never want to be an ivory tower academic. Not that I’m pursuing academics anymore, for various reasons, but I’m not a books and office type. I want to and need to experience things for myself to make my own mind up about anything. Always have, always will. The cash was just the carrot on the stick. Although now I got hold of the carrot, it’s very tantalizing. Money is the only resource in my life I couldn’t quite get a hold of. In this extremely short time I’ve done it, I’ve paid off my debts, and got the start of some savings. The doors this amount of cash can open for me is ridiculous. Not having money has always knee capped me from experiencing life. If I’m successful in this endeavor, I’ll no longer be knee capped and finally do things I love with no financial stress. I never thought for a second that part of it would be to fulfil any fantasies to be honest. Only thought about that was, that I’d have money to pay for male escorts again to explore in a safe environment, that in which I could pursue sexual fantasies.
How long did it take you decide and then start?
I had toyed with the idea a few months ago, and honestly, I didn’t mean it then. I said I’d do it when I was more in shape. I’m still not in the shape that I wanted to be before possibly starting. My first booking was a spur of the moment thing. I got a message from a sugaring app, saying would you like to go out for a drink and see what happens as I’m in town for the night only, if we like each other, I’ll give you “X” amount. And well, I was comfortable enough with him after a drink and we went upstairs to his hotel room, and I got paid. And I found it a super interesting experience, so I did it again. And I would like to continue to do so after lockdown here is lifted.
Take me through the booking process for your first booking and what you were thinking as you worked towards the event? What you needed to prepare and what in your mind was going to be expected of you during the booking.
Well, I didn’t really have time to be anxious which helped me do it. I think I had two hours from the original messages to when we were meeting up. So, I literally got home, showered, shaved, got dressed and headed out to the hotel. I expected nothing, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My mind was in work mode. I understood the male escort I saw a lot more in doing this, in my blog about seeing him I comment along the lines: I was trying to pry what was him and what was the escort apart in my head. The answer for me was, I’m being myself but a more perceptive version towards a singularity. It’s like you’re trying to solve this puzzle in front of you, that just happens to be another person. There’s a switch that goes on. It’s you, and what you’re doing is genuine but you’re also in work mode.
What happened during the booking? How did it differ from your expectations? What did you enjoy and what did you not? Did you enjoy the sex?
Well, I don’t kiss and tell. But the sex in my particular bookings hasn’t really been a big part of it. It has been primarily conversation, connection, and intimacy. I enjoy the part where I can make the other happy. And yes, that might be a cliché but it’s the truth. I want to walk away with the feeling of “job well done”, because that makes me feel good. That, or I’m a workaholic and capitalism has ruined me forever. And again, I had no expectations. I feel like, and have a hunch that you should never should walk into a booking with expectations. Plus, I have never met these people before then. Expectations are for relationships, not work. Sure maybe, they’ll come with a regular client, but it seems wrong to have expectations... Other than cleanliness and getting paid of course.
We’re you attracted to him. How did you handle that?
As long as people are clean and polite, I don’t give a flying fuck what they look like. I find it far more interesting what’s going on in that head of yours than what your face or body looks like. I’ve always been a personality or specific traits, person. And being respectful is far sexier to me than and handsome face that acts like a douche canoe. Complete turn off. Also, just be honest, I really don’t care and am open minded (at least I think so). I hate liars.
Tell me what you thought after the booking. Have you seen him again?
After my first booking. Since it was a one off (so no, haven't seen him again), I walked away literally thinking , “Well, I just did that”, got a packet of chips on the walk home and then watched YouTube. I was more weirded out by the fact I wasn’t weirded out. I thought I would feel some form of regret or elation. I just felt like I did something right, he was happy, I was happy. I’ll do it till I don’t feel like it’s right anymore. End of story.
Hope you find this somewhat interesting, if not, tough titties. Stay safe and sane out there!